Hectic Tuesday

Wow, I woke up this morning, looked outside to see the pouring rain, and my first thought was: El Nino!!! Haha, shows how much AP Environmental Science has affected me. Anyway, so it's been pouring all day and I think it might still be raining right now. As a result, we've had around four power outages all day. Power outages are actually pretty fun I guess although it would be better with more people around. Anyway, it was a pretty normal day except for the rain in between classes.

But yeah, the main highlight of this Tuesday is that we started our evolution unit in AP Environmental Science, and this is a pretty hard unit for me every year. :( It's really confusing and I get really mixed up on evolution and stuff. But then I was thinking about it during the lecture and I was wondering, does it really matter? I mean, personally I think I lean toward not believing in evolution (family influences, etc), but either way, I still believe in God and everything. I don't know...I couldn't really think of any reason why evolution would matter unless it contradicts the bible directly, but any insight?

x3Graceee

The Thoughts and Ponderings of a Girl Heading Toward Her Doom

Shooooooooooooooooooot, SAT's tomorrow!!! I'm scared and kinda screwed over, but it's not like I'm doing anything anyway. Pray for me that I will do my best, not that I deserve it since I didn't study, but, we can try anyway? ^^" I'm just hoping I'll do better than the first time and that's all that I ask for.O well, I shouldn't worry too much since SAT's shall not dominate my life!

So I'm considering switching my blog to another place...I'm not sure if that would be convenient or not though? I recently made a website for our school's rocketry club though and it has everything you need including blog and stuff which I thought was cool. And there are a greater variety of layouts compared to blogspot. Hmmmmmm, I don't want to keep switching though. Seems very jumpy. But yeah, any suggestions?

By the way, wowww, miracle, I've posted consecutively for two days now!!! Okay, moving on to my day now. I wrote this essay for my English benchmark ( I feel like I mentioned it in yesterday's post) and I actually thought it was not bad. It was reflective essay about an event that changed me and I wrote about going to DaPi in the second week of our Taiwan mission trip last year. I realized that throughout my essay, essentially nothing happens, but as Ajlouny says, tell every story like it's the most interesting thing you've ever experienced...I think I did a pretty job of that. Anyway, hopefully we get that essay back later and I'm thinking about using it as my personal statement for one of the common app essays. Woot, one essay down in one sitting in one period. Not bad if I can say so myself ;). TA second period was super fun as usual. Kimberly was working on her newspaper page (which LOOKS AMAZING :D) and I was working on the rocketry website (which isn't as amazing, but it's pretty witty if you ask me :P). In APES we went over test answers for the essay portion and I actually did not too bad. I definitely missed a few answers though...especially on the multiple choice portion I think. Ms. O'Shea is so awesome, I'm so glad I got to talk to her yesterday after school and I hope that happens more often in the future :). What else? Heh heh, AmGovHon was pretty boring again. I feel bad, I love Mrs. Bergantz but I sometimes just can't stand her class XD. Maybe it's because we go over the same thing almost every single day. But next week = "1776". YES, MUSICAL TIME! Last but probably the best was sculptures class. My box got fired so I started glazing my box. So my theme is four seasons which is reflected in each side of the box (thanks Doug for the idea :D). It actually looks not bad even though I did a bad job putting the sides together so it's pretty crooked. I'm actually also working on a second box that's a bit smaller. I love sculptures since Mrs. Imerson is so laidback and we can do extra projects whenever we want to. So this box is for my mom's birthday present which is coming up in a few weeks. Hope I can finish it by then! The theme is going to be a verse:

Galations 2:9
No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived, what God has planned for those who love Him. (or something very close to that....sorry if I'm butchering up your word, God!! ^^")

So that's the verse on the box and I'm going to have a pattern of leaves go around the box since it's fall and I'm going to have the word "秋" on it since my mom's born in the fall. And on the cover of the box, I will write "mommy" on it and have a border of hearts around the box. And if you open the box, you'll see a heart with a cross etched into the heart in the center of the bottom of the box. Not bad right? So yeah, I started glazing my first box and hopefully I'll finish that relatively quickly. So sixth period I hung out at the typical bench and sang with Julie and drew beautiful pictures of Julie and Girl's Generation and Keroro. Emphasis on the beautiful. Discussed possible songs to sing with Tatsuya too. There are so many choices out there! Basically a relaxed nice after school. David Fujii ruined my planner -_-. Just kidding, it's not too bad but there's not as much space to write in my planner now... XD.

And for the climax, I started rewatching Cardcaptors yesterday!!! Cardcaptors was seriously my love back in elementary school. I remember not being able to watch it because it played during the time I had to get to school. Sad times...Anyway, so it's a lot dorkier with horrible dubs than I recalled, but still beautiful outfits and graphics are great :). Kinda my humor too so I guess that says something about me....Heh heh. Which reminds me. What should I be for Halloween??? I'm really at a loss for what I should dress up as. I really want to do either Final Fantasy or Cardcaptors right now, but then I feel either obsessed or a bit freakish if I do either. I guess it's the same reason why I wouldn't want to dress up as a korean group (like my friend asked me to do SNSD with her). I really don't like the idea of being obsessed with something...it's like denial. But yeah, I'm basically debating between a cleaner version of Yuna in FFX2, Garnet with short hair in FFIX, Yuffie from FFVII, or Sakura with one of her outfits. I'm completely open to better ideas though :).

One last thing: I've been wondering if I'm truly a masochist...People joke around it, but someone told me that I'm always smiling even when people hit me and make fun of me. It's not that I'm happy with that, but I guess it's just my initial reaction to laugh everything off. I guess I'm a bit of a super pushover, and that's a bad thing isn't it? I have no clue how to change it though. Well, for now, as long as people don't overdo it I suppose. Grace hurts sometimes too :).

Alright, wish me good luck on tomorrow's SAT's and everyone have an excellent weekend!

x3Graceee

Hahaha~

Okay, random post title. Honestly has no bearing with my life currently whatsoever XD. Other than the fact that it's the song that I'm listening to right now. Remember that dance, Dawning? We must meet again sometime and learn the entire dance and then record it and be cool! :D Anyway, so much for my weekly postings. I've been lagging behind again and I don't think I've doing well with any of my goals at all. At this rate, I think I might just stick to journalling instead of blogging...slower but easier and seems more solid. I also want to switch my blog site...I know...ironic...I just started this blog. But I'm probably going to switch emails by the end of this year...I'm such a disloyal person to my emails. And I've spent so much effort on this blog too!! Wells, I spent a bit of time on the information and formatting stuff. O well, things will turn out how they turn out. I guess I also haven't been doing a good job on my devotions and praying and stuff. I'm hoping I don't burn out with leadership and everything, but I definitely need prayer about that. I guess I feel like I lack support a lot of times and talking to people has been pretty hard at times. So it's Thursday and life is pretty neutral I suppose. SAT's on Saturday :OOOO. I'm really not excited especially since I haven't seen an SAT question in about...a year maybe? O well, I'm just going to take it and get it over with. No more SAT's after this Saturday!!! Now that I think about it...that IS really exciting. Anyway, so I took a really confusing and unhelpful benchmark test today in English, and TA was fun with college applications and being a freak with Kimberly. Two perfectionists put together in one room...interesting outcomes :P. APES test that I failed since I didn't really study...but I guess it was pretty good for not studying. American Government was actually not too boring today. We're going to watch 1776 which I really look forward to because I LOVE MUSICALS!!!! And after school I got to talk to Ms. O'Shea with Norris and that was REALLy fun talking about sushi and food and vegetables and Costa Rica and crazy people in our classes and all that good stuff. We talked until around 5 and by then my sister had ditched me to go home so my mom had to come again to pick me up. I feel like I have so much more to say, but I can't think of anything currently so I'll turn in for now. Good day. O yes...college applications are terrible!
x3Graceee

A Wrinkle In Time~

Just popping by the blog to make sure I'm sorta keeping myself updated ^_- (fail winking face). Well, senior year's been boring, if not more stressful and less fun than junior year. O well, I'm sure things will turn out for the better soon :). Well, going to get some sleep soon. Senior pictures tomorrow so I want to look my best!
x3 Graceee

雨痕-魏晨 is one of the most amazing, heartfelt songs I've heard in a long time. With beautiful lyrics as well. Seriously makes me want to cry when I hear it. Leave it up to the Chinese to be best at the ballads! Wish it were more well known, but here's my advertisement of it :). The guy who is second from the left in the top picture sang it, but they're all really good singers :D.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IuETSq9u-E

最怕看到你脸上下雨的痕迹 打湿了心又轻轻落在我手里 爱过整个冬季把回忆凝结成冰 好多诺言我怕来不及 留下的只有那个雨后的痕迹 爱是雨点落进眼睛里看不清 斑驳我的足迹用不放晴的泪滴 记忆旁的的那个夏天怎么搁浅

Contemplations

I've discovered that I do not find facebook very interesting. I mean, I basically use it for pictures and occasionally birthdays and maybe if I feel like it I'll post on someone's wall. Actually, I didn't just discover that. I think I've essentially felt that since I started using facebook. Except occasionally I'd get obsessed with like...quizzes or something. But I felt like I should post that out as a straight out observation so the WORLD MAY KNOW HOW I FEEL!!! :P I am totally okay today.

Which points to my next point. I have been practicing my imagination. I feel like I conform too much to the standards of conversation about what you do every day and school and grades and whatever and if you think about it...that's both boring and gets old and on the superficial side. So I've been pondering more about questions that I am interested about that are totally out there so I might start blurting random things. Totally smart since I've already made fun of for being dumb right? XD I know, genius.

So we're on our third week of school and things have been pretty good. Not too much homework so I've been relaxing most days. Taking naps a lot. Which isn't good so I need to start not taking naps every afternoon. And I should bring my textbooks to school so I can do homework at school since I procrastinate quite a bit nowadays. In addition I should actually start working on my college applications, letter of recommendation forms, SAT signups, and other "productive" things that I just don't find very meaningful...If I'm planning to go to De Anza, maybe I should just skip out on the recommendations and all that jazz. It's a question I definitely need to think over carefully. Ahhh, senior year, kinda harder than I expected. Which is kind of weird because I thought it'd be more relaxed. But as it is, it seems like so many people are just stressed out, sad by something, or depressed in general. :( Not the best encouraging environment, but things will come out okay!

O yeah, and I'm starting to not like my English teacher. He says some things like it's the only way to go about the world and I feel like he's a staunch atheist or something. I dunno, a lot of stuff he says seems to contradict Christianity and poke fun at me toooo...I guess I'll have to think of something to feel less targeted in that class? Other than that, TAing with Kimberly has been a blast, APES has been fun and educating and I really enjoy the class. Government is kinda ehhhhh, right now since we don't seem to be doing anything meaningful and sculptures is sooo fun making our spheres. I really like working with clay and making cute stuff.

I think I have no clue what I'm talking about anymore. Anyway, copying APES notes right now and maybe doing some current information for government. Dad's leaving for China in two days to see Grandpa and Grandma and our other relatives. I think that's about it for my life currently. I guess I'm sorta confused about my life in general too and my relationship statuses and love and what I'm going to do with my life, but hey, what's new?

I want to love you more God!!!

x3 Graceee

****One more thing!!! An excellent mellow song I've recently heard: Urban Zapaka - Caffe Latte
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUlPsdCjN10&feature=PlayList&p=AF3A2E0F259B97E9&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=106
I think I'm going to try to get into more Chinese, Japanese, and English music this year, but hey, this song's still good!!!

Goals

I did not actually believe that I'd be able to reach this point in my life where I would find time to convey my thoughts concerning my goals this year. Well here they are and changes will probably occur throughout the year and I probably won't succeed on a lot of these goals...but here goes nothing!


1. I want to be nicer this year. This probably seems either vague, hilarious, unnecessary, or impossible depending on who you are. Well, I've been wavering between being ridiculously pushover-y and being sarcastic, sadistic, and pointy humored. Most times I'm both and I don't mean any of the things I say, but I still feel like someone's going to get hurt or extremely annoyed if I keep this up. So I would like to settle with something less extreme and be more consistent about it. Enough about that...slap me if you see me being sarcastic or something :P

2. I want to be more extroverted. Throughout the past year, I basically threw away my social life to focus on my studies...a choice I am not so happy about this year. I guess it would be more accurate to say I want to throw away some of my self-consciousness and be more willing to talk to people without pre-judging them or having biases. I want to be able to talk to people more freely, including my closer friends.

3. I want to be uncomfortable. I guess this goes into being more extroverted and being out of my comfort zone to get to know new people. I know Dean has been encouraging us as seniors to venture out this year and he's been asking what our legacy is. Well, I really want to follow what he says and try to get to know people and live out my life more meaningfully. :)

4. I want to work hard at my music. Even if it's just for fun, I want to be the best singer that I can be. I also want to improve on my piano and sight reading skills. And of course, harmonization. How much of this will come true, who knows? But we can only look forward to that.

5. I want to actively maintain the friendships that I have. I feel a lot of my relationships with others have gone down the drain mostly because I have a fear of being close to people I don't see often, mostly because I am scared of how people may change. I hope I will take more initiative and maintain friendships with people if not get closer.

6. Well, I definitely want to improve on my foreign languages. This includes my chinese (getting a bit rusty), my japanese (almost nonexistent currently), and korean (which is probably better than it should be...but still not good). I would definitely love the chance to practice them and use them in the actual country.

7. I want to earn money and have a job (law firm namely). Hopefully, I will be able to do something meaningful with that money. Like going to Asia...Or something else.

8. I want be more fit. Not necessarily more buff, but less fat percentage would definitely be nice. And I want to play badminton more legitly and not be all blah at it.

9. I definitely want to pursue God more directly and be motivated. Notice how this goal is toward the end of my goals...Let's be honest, I haven't been very active in my faith and what's worse, I feel as though I've been faking my sincerity although I know the truth. I have not been facing my problems or even trying. I don't know how many times I've told myself this, but I really try to do my best to read my bible more consistently and prayer journal and stuff. Be good role model?

10. How could I forget? I want to be able to maintain this blog for as long as I can (hopefully for this year and for the rest of my life? :O...shocking thought).

11. Ooh, this is a really iffy one. Get into a relationship? Heh heh...don't exactly want to put it as a goal, but at the same time it would be nice. This is all from my view of course. I don't know what is going to happen this year, but I'm just saying I'll be looking out. I guess the worst part of this is that I don't expect it to last, but yeah...I don't know. Maybe God wants something different for me. But just putting this out there!

Well, that's all I want to bother think about right now...and it's no short list either. Maybe I'll come up with some smaller perk goals that aren't so serious...not that all those goals up there are serious. O well, enjoy and keep me accountable! Hope to update on my school life and thoughts soon. Toodles!

x3 Graceee

New Beginnings

:) It feels pretty refreshing to be starting a blank page with a brand new blog! I think this is my third try with consistently blogging and with the blog that I share with my school friends, I think I've been making steps (as slow as they may be) to writing more and checking for updates more often. Coincidentally, today was the first day of school. I'm a SENIOR!!! That's such a bittersweet thought: I'm so excited for what lays ahead of me yet I'm also sad for all the great teachers and the friends that I will soon be leaving behind for college after this year. Wahhhh, but that's not until awhile from now so I'm going to appreciate what I have right now. This is my current schedule:

1. Women's Choir - Roddy
2. English 7/8 - Ajlouny
3. AP Environmental Science - O'Shea
4. American Government Honors/ AP Economics - Bergantz/Miller
5. Sculptures/3D Art - Imerson

I think I'm going to change soon since I need to TA for Bergantz and I'm going to drop from choir (hopefully a choice I will not regret and hopefully not a class that I will die without) and I need to add Physics Honors...or should I add Statistics AP so that I can have a math??? I really miss my math buddies and all the educated people around me. It's really not the same with the people around you who aren't motivated to learning the curriculum and don't even do the work. At the same time, I feel like I'm being so judgmental against the people whom I label "preps." However my schedule ends up, I sincerely hope that God will give me patience to see these people as people that He loves despite any shortcomings they may have. After all, I'm not that great of a person myself for being biased against them. Wow, I don't think I've written so meaningfully online before. Hope I have more times like this, and hopefully another blog post soon about my life in general and of course, my goals for this coming year!

x3 Graceee

()_()
( o.~ )
(")( ) ( )(") <==3 <----boohoo, this is supposed to be my bunny but apparently it doesn't show up well on this blog post :( sadd ***after some editting...this might actually work!!! :D

************************Add-on: Dawning, you are tagged in this note because even though it may be a small thing, you helped me start this blog and I hope we will share lots of memories through this blogging and you have a really big inspiration for me starting blogging again. If that's not enough, well, you're awesome and deserve to be tagged in all my posts!!! (especially since you will probably be the only one following it XD)